It's time to GET REAL!

Seriously.

 

I have spent most of my adult life being overweight. 

And most of that time being (oh I hate this word) Obese.

 

A few years ago I worked my fanny off and with the help of LA Weightloss I lost a hundred lbs.  WAHOO!  I did it over a year and a half.  Slowly and sensibly. 

 It was one of the hardest things that I have done. 

There were many tears in my room when my family was eating brownies.  I made a seperate meal for myself every night.

It was awesome to feel good about myself.  I made it to my 1st goal weight and then lowered it.  I came within 8 lbs of that.  I was ok with that.  I was back to my highschool weight and

I felt good.

 

I kept it off for a few years.

Then it started creeping back. 

Slowly at first. 

 Ever so slowly

Then before I know it I am up 25 lbs and trying a crash diet.  It worked.  For a short time. Like most crash diets.

I continued working out most of the time.  Then that stopped.

I still managed to keep it in that 25ish lb range for quite a while. 

I joined a weightloss challenge.

Failed.

A year later I went to a personal trainer.  I really love to work out, (once I get there) and I liked it a lot.  She put me on a really strict diet and I did well.  Then the food got really really old and she started being more concerned about herself during my training time than me. I was paying her good money and I could only afford it once a week so I really needed it to count.  At month 4 I cancelled my appt. with her and she never even called me back to reschedule.  Guess she didn't care too much.  That was last April.  Since then I have gained another 20ish lbs.  That is A LOT in that amount of time.  How did that happen?

Oh yeah, it was the eating whatever I wanted syndrome.  The same one I used to have most of my life.

I guess this is where the 'get real' part comes in.  Most normal adult women, no matter how thin they are, can't eat the way I was and be thin. Why do I think I can?  I'm not really sure. 

I think I am being a spoiled brat and want what I want

Enough of that, it is time to get back to a healthy lifestyle and using what I learned at LA Weightloss and through out the years to do it.  You know, silly things like eating veggies, (and not ones covered in butter:) fruits, proteins, portion control, etc.  I'm much better if I have someone to be accountable to so that worries me a little but I am determined so hopefully that will make up for it.

I know it is almost the holidays and I considered waiting till they were over.  That is the spoiled brat in me.  I decided enough.  So far I am on day 2.  Guess I can't really count that as success yet but you do have to start somewhere.  I have a goal of 10 lbs by thanksgiving which is 2 weeks away.  I think for a jumpstart that is do-able.  I know I can't maintain that rate of loss but the beginning is always quicker.  I need to get on my treadmill to help move things along but I refuse to beat myself up over it if I don't make it there this week.
Kenz and I did the Color Run last week.  It was a 5k and a lot of fun.  I was hoping it would get me motivated.  We even ran (and by run, I mean jog slowly) about 3/4 of it.  I did better than I thought.  Haven't been on the treadmill since.
I guess tomorrow is a new day and I also know I can exercise till "the cows come home" and if I don't control what goes into my mouth it won't do any good.

Baby steps.

Slow and steady.

 

That's all

I'm kind of rediculous...

Yesterday I took Mackenzie back to college.
Ok, I took her massive piles of 'stuff' back to college. She took more piles of it in her car.

This doesn't even begin to cover the 'stuff' she brought!

 

This is her 3rd year there which should make it easy for me right?

HA! Not so.

We cried when I left her and I cried off and on most of the way home. Then I cried when I finally got in bed and was trying to go to sleep.

Actually, writing this makes me tear up again.

The silly girl is almost 21 years old so why am I still crying when she leaves me?

It must be because she kind of goes everywhere with me.
She invites herself on our dates even when we tell her she isn't invited.

When we are both home she sits on 'her spot' of the couch while I'm in my chair and we talk as we both stare at our computer screens.
We both love PINK because it is the best girl color. 

We sometimes go on bike rides (our pink bikes) and get chased by dogs. (oops, sorry Baby, I forgot to buy you more pepper spray)

We celebrate football season with Fro-Yo football. (as in when all the boys at our house are watching BSU, we go to U-Swirl for fro-yo. Which is way better than watching football.)

She makes amazing cupcakes, and I like to eat them. Wait, maybe as far as that goes it is good that she's gone;)
When she is here there is always music.
She can't stand silence so music is always streaming out of her computer.  Even when she isn't on her 'spot' on the couch I can hear it coming from her room.
Now I am sitting her without her on the couch and all I can hear is football.  ICK

She 'gets' me because she is just like me.

We kind of hate the same things/people, and enjoy doing that together.
I know, not very Christ-like.
On the bright side, we also 'love' the same things.

Which in our world can someimes also translate into hate. For instance "I love it when people won't move out of the passing lane no matter how slow they are going."  

We also 'hate' when we forget to do things. Another example..."I hate it when I forget that bras are optional at Walmart." (Or the fair, or anywhere for that matter.) We always seem to forget things like this and go ahead and wear one;)

We also both know that boys are dumb.
I have been teaching her that since she was born.
 Even the ones in our house.

We also know that we love them to death and wouldn't trade them.

Most days.

After all, they put up with our 'girl' craziness. Hers more than mine;)

She tells me all her boy drama, or life drama, and then appologizes for unloading on me.

I listen and am so thankful she likes me enough to unload on me and trusts me enough to tell me stuff.

After all, I am her mom.

Not all girls are that tight with their moms.

I am lucky.

She is an amazing and beautiful girl and I hope she can see that in herself.

I hope she has an awesome year and can settle in and enjoy the time she has now.

Oh and when she does get married and move out for good, she better live within and 30 minute drive!
That's All!

I have a missionary!

Elder Justin Robert Miller,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Argentina Mendoza Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, December 12, 2012. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language.

Oh my gosh, I am soooo excited!I can't believe that my boy is going to Argentina!

I have to say that when Justin was opening his call the anticipation was killing me. It came and he was going to open it that night when we were all home. At least that was the plan;)

Justin seemed pretty calm but it just kept staring at us and Kenz happened to be home. I was dying. It sat there for about 10 or 15 minutes. We discussed steaming it open so the boys wouldn't know but then he finally decided to just open it without the brothers and hope they didn't care. Of course Kenz and I were encouraging him to open it, "but its your choice". Wahoo, he finally decided to do it. He pulled out the papers and looked and looked and still wasn't seeing where he was going. He did see the papers for a passport application and then he flipped through the book and said "well, I can tell you I'm going to Argentina."
  There was a map of his area in the book.

  I finally picked up the envelope and looked inside and there was the cover letter from President Monson saying he had been called and where. We were all so excited.

The funny thing was that just the night before at dinner we were talking about where he could possibly go and Robert said "you know I haven't heard of anyone going to Argentina, do they even send missionaries there?" We all laughed and I pointed out that is where Hayden Summers (my best friend in the whole worlds son) is. Also another friends son just got back from there. Turns out there are about 7 missions in Argentina. Ha! We had a piece of paper from the sunday before that we all wrote guesses on, and the winner was Bridger. His guess was The Netherlands, or Argentina. I'm not sure how the 2 correlate but whatever, he still won. I thought he would be Spanish speaking but was sure he was going to stay in the states. Guess I was wrong on that one. We are all super excited for him and now the work of getting him ready begins. We have 101 days!
  Bring it on!

Oh and don't worry, I already started a missionary board on pinterest and also sent in my request to join the missionary moms website for the Mendoza mission:)

That's all!

So Excited!

Once upon a time I had a baby boy.

Then he grew and he grew and he grew.

Then he graduated from highschool.

Then he sent in his mission papers.

Tomorrow is the big day, where will he go?...stay tuned!

That's all!

Disappointment:(

This word holds a lot of meaning...we all have this in our lives and that is just part of it but, it is amazing how much it can hurt when it isn't even yours.

As the mom I wish I could fix everything that makes my kids sad. When they were little that job was a lot easier. Most things could be fixed with a kiss, hug, or a piece of candy:) Now that they are getting to be big people they are getting bigger problems and not so easy to smooth over. I don't think they realize how I feel every hurt or happiness they have.

This isn't about anything that is life changing (I think) but when you are a teenager it doesn't take much for you to think that it is. I know in his world this is huge and the disappoinment and sadness on his face kills me. In the end this will probably turn out better than if things had gone the way he wanted them too but from his point of view, right now it sucks.

I'm not quite sure how to break it to him that he has a lifetime of this ahead of him. No I'm not a compete pesimist but life is life and there are ups and downs. I guess I won't try to break it to him, I'll let him figure it out for himself. He wouldn't believe me anyway because of that teenager status of his, I know nothing. Give him a few more years and I will get smarter. I know this because it has already happened to a couple of the older ones. I may only be in the "might" know something stage of their life but I am getting closer to the "wow, she really did know what she was talking about" stage.

Things will get better for him, which in turn will make it better for the rest of us and life will continue to go on. I may not be able to make it better for him but I can still try to bribe him with candy:)
 I actually offered to buy him a pony but luckily he didn't take me up on that one.

That's all!

I totally Stink at Blogging!

What can I say, I am not a blogger. I really want to be, at least in my mind. Kind of like I really want to be a runner. In my mind. Apparently not enough to actually get myself off the couch. Sad thing is that I can actually blog while on the couch. I spend a lot of time reading other peoples and maybe if I dedicated just a fraction of that time to my own I would maybe have some sort of a history/journal for myself. I just went back and read my last 2 posts and I had totally forgotten that those things happened. My memory is pathetic. I would love to rededicate myself to this but sadly, I know that won't help. I will keep trying though. So, a few hilights of the last few months before I totally forget them...

March-went to Rexburg and watched Mackenzie perform at icover with Jordan and Justin. Meaning I went with Jordan and Justin. She peformed with Tessia and Makayla.

That was fun!

April-went to Rexburg and moved her home for the summer.

May-JUSTIN GRADUATED! making me feel really old. I now have more kids out of high school than in.

June-went on a family vacation to Portland and the Oregon Coast. (Really need to dedicate a whole post to those memories)

July-Hubby had an angiogram and his brain is good! Got the call that his "number came up" and he is going to driving school and gonna be a full time driver a UPS. That is going to be tons of changes for our family. Providing he "makes his packet" (Also need to dedicate a whole post to that)Made a trip with the soccer team to Pocatello and then on to Salt Lake for the professional REAL game where our team got to take the REAL team flag out on the field before the game. Also got to see my Darla for about 5 minutes. Okay it was over night but barely. Summer olympics started.
 I love the olympics!

Aug-Well this is only the first day of it but in the near future we will celebrate our 24th anniversary, Robert will go to driving school, we will go to Portland for Lehi's wedding, and school will start.

Oh yeah, and I just remembered why I get frustrated with this...I can't make this dumb blogger thing work. I type and then it won't let me edit with fonts or colors and stuff. Then it does for minute...then a no go again. GGGGRRRRR!

I'm sure it's not me:) I give up!

That's All!

Valentines Day

We recently had Valentines day and I really don't get into that holiday much. I mean I love that my husband gave me flowers and all that but I don't go crazy with it and don't care too much if I get something or not. I appreciate it, but I don't live for it. I do, however, remember what it was like when I was a teenage girl. This is a holiday that can make your day or make your self esteem go into the toilet. I remember the feeling of walking through school and feeling like you are the only one there that didn't get a card, balloon, flower, candy, or anything that meant someone might know you existed. (Lets face it, teenage girls tend to exaggerate) I had some Valentines days when I did get something but the ones I really remember are those when I didn't. The old saying of its better to give than to receive...lets just say that doesn't apply to Valentines day when you are a teenage girl. A teenage girls self esteem is fragile as it is, but when you add 7 million other girls walking around with their loot, arm in arm with their boy, well...lets just say it totally sucks! I am glad I have grown up and gotten past that feeling. It makes me happier when I get flowers or whatever on just a "regular" "no reason" kind of day now.

All that being said and as the mother of teenage boys I feel I have a little insight into this and think its my duty to help them understand a little tiny bit about girls. We had a conversation at dinner the sunday before Valentines day that went something like this:

Mom- "So boys, Valentines day is coming up...what are you doing for your girls?"

Boys-(chewing) "uhhhhh, idmmunnommm" "mmmnno mmonmmeymm"

Mom-"you don't have to spend money to let someone know you care about them"

Boys-(still chewing)"uhhhh mmmllliikeemmm mwhaamt"

Mom-"I know you don't really care about Valentines day but I'll let you in on a little secret,

girls do. Especially teenage girls."

Boys-"Uhhhh" (eyes rolling)

Mom-(thinking in my head that this is why I have told their sister her whole life that boys are dumb) (I mean that in the I totally adore my boys kind of way)

"Girls just want someone or something to acknowledge that she is alive on this of all days. It doesn't have to mean you are in love with her-which you better not be-it just means you are her friend and you care about her." (Heavy accent on the word friend)

Justin-"I already gave one to Kenzie (not his sister BTW) when I took her out." (Practically

patting himself on the back)

Mom-"Thats great but I'm sure there is another girl who would love to get something." "What

about Danielle. I'm sure she would love something." (Danielle is one of his best friends)

"After dinner I am getting out my scrappin stuff and you boys are making cards!"

Boys-"We don't know how to do that, they will look stupid."

Mom-"That's why you have me. You know I won't let them look stupid. This is gonna be fun!"

Boys-mumble, grumble

So dinner got over, I got out all my red, pink, and girlie stuff and together we created 3 super cute cards. I helped them with a few ideas and cut out some hearts and stuff for them but they pretty much did it on their own. They even had fun doing it. Even Colten, although I doubt he will admit to that.

Bridger will never admit to "liking" any girl but I hear rumors from others that he does. He will never admit to any specific name. He kept saying it was going to be for girlfriend #7. In the end girlfriend #7 did have a name. I only know this because he put it on her card.

Colten, the one with the bad attitude, refused to act like he was having any fun at all but when it was all over he came and asked me if I had a nice pen. In Colten speak that means I'm pretty proud of what I just did and I want it to look good.

You can just see the attitude oozing from his face:)

Justin sent his in the mail to Danielle who recentlty moved to Kuna. Reports from her are that she loved the card. On a side note, after school on Vday he said he wished he had done some more to just give to girls at school. Apparently he heard from girls (not sure if it was told to him or overheard) how horrible it was to see everyone with their balloons and flowers and whatever, and be the one walking around empty handed. Ha, the mom is right...AGAIN!

Now I'm totally not encouraging my boys to have a girlfriend, I just really want to teach them that the little things can make all the difference in how a girl feels about herself. They will need to know this for the rest of forever. Their dad does a good job of doing "the little things" and I hope my boys will pick up on that and treat all the girls in their life and especially their future wives this way.

That's all!