Life Changing Events

Monday May 23, 2011 was a date I won't likely soon forget. There are those dates in your life that stick forever. The date I was married, the dates my children were born, the date my mother died, and this last one, the date I could have lost my husband.

Robert came home around from his job at UPS around 8:30 in the morning and was telling me he had a killer headache he woke up with. He had taken some ibuprophen and then and got home and took some more. Mackenzie and I were headed off to the dentist and then shopping. Around 1:30 or so I got a call from Roberts friend Sean. He said he was taking Robert to the St. Lukes in Meridian because he had passed out. I told him I was going to take my groceries home and then would be there. I was just leaving Costco and had to take a check to the school for Colten. I did that and ran the refrigerated stuff to the house and then headed back to Meridian. He was in the ER and waiting. I figured it was just a severe migraine. They did a CT scan and came in and told us they found some bleeding in his brain and were suspecting an aneurysm. They told us they were going to trasport him to St. Lukes in Boise and there was a neurologist waiting for him. I left Mackenzie there for Justin to come and pick her up and followed the ambulance to Boise. I called his mom before we left Meridian, and my dad while on my way. In the ER in Boise they did another scan and we talked with Dr. Hajjar who told us they were admitting him to ICU and would be doing a cerebral angiogram in the morning to pinpoint where the bleeding was so we could decide the next step. I got home late monday night and headed back to Boise about 5 tues. morning. I wanted to be there when they did the angiogram. They took him for a test that morning but it ended up being the wrong one. They just redid the one from the night before. Later they took him for the 'real' one. Dr. Perl came in and told us that yes he did have and aneurysm and gave us the options. One of them was to do nothing which wasn't really an option. Doing nothing meant that at any time it could start to bleed again. The statistics they gave to us for aneurysms in general was that 25% of the people never make it to the hospital, 25% don't leave the hospital alive, 25% leave but are somehow severely impaired, (speech, use of limbs, vision, etc.) and then that leaves the other 25%. Robert looked good and had all his faculties about him. If he had another bleed then the statistics start all over again. I think we already beat the odds this time, why push it. The doctor gave us our treatment options and told us his recommendation was a procedure called coil embolization or coiling. This goes through the groin and up into the brain and fills the aneurysm with coils of a titanium wire so it clots off. Because of the type of aneurysm he had they had to actually clock off a section of his vein which in turn blocks the blood supply to the part of the brain the vein fed. This causes what they called a controlled stroke and it was possible to have adverse side effects. They told us it could affect his short term memory, use of his left side, his vision, etc. The procedure was supposed to take about 2 hours. My sweet friend Stacey stayed with me. At the point they took him to surgery everyone had left for a while except for his dad and Stacey. I couldn't make a decision to save my life at that point and I am so happy she stayed. About 2 hours later they came and told us that it was all going well. Another hour later the doc finally came back and said all was good. That it took longer because his aneurysm was disected and it took longer to feed the wire through both openings. By the time I finally got to see him that night I was a wreck. His whole family was there along with my dad and Linda, Stacey, Bishop Crossley and Dan Hauser. Robert was back in ICU with tubes and wires all over him. He was sick and throwing up. His mom came in for a minute. I went out long enough to say get a blessing from my dad. Robert had a blessing in the ER in Boise from Sean and Dan Hauser. I said good bye to everyone and went back to see Robert for a while longer. I got home around 10:30 exhausted and looking it.
Wednesday morning I was getting ready and the kids were getting ready for school when I got a call...It was Robert! He sounded awesome. I was shocked. He said he was fine and to tell the kids he could remember them, at least as well as he could before, and that that I should go to Bridger's program. I was so relieved. I went to the program and then headed to the hospital. When I got there his mom and sister were there and the Greens had just gotten there. He had a lot of visitors through there and was exhausted. I finally told the nurses no more and left for a few hours. I also told everyone to please back off and let him rest. The kids came that night but I wouldn't let them the next day. I think it was good, he really needed to sleep.
The doc had told us he would probably be in ICU another 3-5 days and be in the hospital for 1-2 weeks. Friday Dr. Hajjar came and said we aren't doing anything for you here so lets move you to a regular room. They got him moved to the 5th floor and then when I went in saturday morning the doc had just gotten there and said I hear you want to go home. He said lets get you out of here and we were out within the hour and on our way home! It was such a relief just being out of ICU friday night. And so strange to be heading out the door for home. I was happy and scared at the same time. Now he is home and I get to sleep by him and look at him and just know he is here. I am so thankful for him.

This whole experience has in a strange way been a good thing. It has been a reminder of what is important. I know from believing that way that I do whats important but it is still a good reminder. We have had so many great people in our lives this week to help us and be there for us. Our friends, and family, and ward family have been awesome. I have some clients that donated money for gas cards along with my co-workers. My kiddos are AWESOME. They have totally stepped up and taken care of the house, themselves, and even me. They were in their last week of school and finals and they managed to take care of it all. I have felt the blessing of my Heavenly Father in our lives this week and I know he is always there. He is wrapping His arms around us everytime someone else does. I have spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking and praying and worrying. I always had the feeling everything would be ok but that didn't stop the stress from taking its toll. I love my husband and family more that anything and I am so grateful that we are all home together. That's All

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a really long time. I enjoy the few that I follow and thought it would be fun to have my own. What else to I have to do with my time anyway. Ha
I want to do it for myself and actually hope no one reads it because I don't think I have anything to interesting to say. It is another great way to journal though and I need all the help I can get in that area. So about 5 or 6 weeks ago I created my blog and have been struggling with how to start it since then. A life changing event happened this week that made me say enough. Just start writing and who cares if it "good" or "entertaining" or even if it makes sense.

To start off I am a 42 year old mother of 5. I have a great husband and a pretty happy life. I love everything feminine and my favorite color is pink. Its happy and cheery and pretty. I was blessed with 4 wonderful...sons. I do have a daughter that loves being a girl so there is a little bit of girl in my life. I chose the title Shades of Pink because I decided to choose to see everything in those shades. Excited pink, sad pink, happy pink, mad pink, and yes-even boy pink. I don't know if that explains it right but in the words of my daughter "whatevs". I don't have time to go any further but maybe now that I have done the initial post it will be easier:) That's All