Love

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. Louis De Bernieres

So I have been thinking a lot this Christmas season about how different it could have been for our family. When Robert had his aneurysm we were caught up in the moment of getting through it all. Since then we are back to "normal", whatever that is. He makes me crazy sometimes...and I do the same for him. When it is all said and done I still love him more than anything and I know that if we didn't spend our lives trying to live up to our promise to each other to be together for eternity then the "root" system we are creating wouldn't be as strong as it is. When I read this quote that I found on one of my favorite blogshttp://www.nieniedialogues.com It immediately made me think of my husband and marriage. I don't know where she found it or what it's from but I LOVE it. I also read a quote one time and I have been trying to find it so I would get it right, to no avail, that says something like the secret to a happy marriage isn't falling in love once, its falling in love many times with the same person. Ha, I can't remember exactly how it goes but you get the point.

I have many friends who haven't been so lucky as I, and I watch them with their daily struggles of single parenting, dealing with ex-spouses, and trying to make it through life on their own. I feel so blessed to have what I have and to know that my husband is striving for the same thing I am. He is stuck with me forever.

Here's to the kind of love that lasts when all of the hearts and flowers fade. The kind I wish for my kids to find in the future. The kind I am blessed enough to have in my life:)

That's all!

Sweet Della

I'm in a bit of a funk. I know it, I don't really know the reason for it. (maybe I do) I hate feeling like this. This is when all the bad, awful, horrible feelings about myself come and hit me like a ton of bricks. Really it's just a big pity party that I am throwing myself. I have been sitting here trying to talk myself out of throwing this party and trying to come up with something happy and the only thing that comes to mind is my sweet friend Della. I have been wanting to write about her for some time and I decided that tonight instead of focusing on my own feelings of myself I will focus on her.

I met Della quite a few years ago when she started coming into the salon. She has quite a hard time getting around and it is very difficult for her to come in. A year or 2 ago I made arrangements with her to go to her house to do her hair. I did this for a while and then she decided she didn't need me to do that anymore. After a few months she had me start going back again. As time went on she needed to go to the dentist and asked if I would drive her. I was happy to do so. Well, since then I have become her chaffeur when needed, along with being her hair dresser. About 3 months ago she got edema in her legs and had a heck of a time with it. (Turns out they were wrapping her legs with something that had latex in it. She is highly allergic.) I began taking her to the doc quite often. She schedules her appointments on my days off so I can drive her. A couple weeks ago at her appt. they finally decided to admit her to the hospital so we went from the doc to her house to get a few things, then I took her to the hospital and got her settled in there. She stayed about 4 days and then was moved to a rehab facility.

She calls me her girl friday.

I keep her daughters informed (they both live out of state), do her laundry, get her mail, pay her bills, and be her friend. It kind of sounds like I do a lot for her. In all reality

she does way more for me.

I look at this sweet woman who lives alone and is almost completely housebound, can hardly get around or take care of herself, and is genuinely one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure to meet. She never complains about her situation or herself. If she starts to, she immediately catches herself and says "now thats enough about that". She is also extremely stubborn. She insists on trying to pay me for anything I do. I know there is a level of independance that she needs to maintain and by paying me she feels like she isn't taking advantage. I can't always refuse her because I know she won't ask again and she needs the help. I tell her all the time by paying me she is taking away the blessings I might be receiving and

I need all I can get!

While in the hospital they discovered a heart problem and she is now on medication to correct that. One day when we were arguing over her paying me and I was have none of it she said to me "Now stop this, you know I have a heart condition." I almost busted up laughing and told her she can't pull that one on me, that my husband tries to pull the 'I had an aneurysm' card all the time and that I don't fall for it either!

She always wants to know what is going on out in the big world of Middleton, and how my kids are and how their activities are going. I have been around quite a lot of elderly people and many of them complain.

A lot.

Della never does.

She is such a great example to me and I have told her over and over that the high light of my week is going to her house on wednesdays to do her hair. It just makes my day brighter.

The rehab facility has been good for her. She is getting the care she needs and getting stronger. Hopefully she will be able to go home soon.

I will continue to do what I can for her and will continue to be taught many lessons from her. Lessons about love, patience, and endurance.

I have never met her daughters. They are very thankful for what I do for their mom. I tell them that if my mom were still alive and I couldn't be there to help her I would hope there was someone out there that could and would.

I miss my mom.

A lot.

Della isn't a member of the church and it makes me realize how fortunate we as members are. There is always someone looking out for us, especially if our family isn't around.

I hope as I age, I will remember the lessons that I have learned from her and that I will be able to do it with the same grace and good attitude as my sweet Della. I love her and hope to be able to help her for many years to come.
After all...

she is only 86!

Thats all

Planes,Weddings, and Car Crashes

Jared and Amanda Thomas

Last week my nephew Jared married an adorable young lady named Amanda. I got to travel back East with my dad and "bonus mom" Linda for the big event. I haven't been to my sisters for a few years so was pretty excited to see her and her family. I had a lot to accomplish before I left because it was not the greatest time of year for me to be leaving. School was starting for Bridger the day after I left and for the other 2 boys the day after I got home. Because of this I had to have them all ready to go, clothes, shoes, supplies, etc. Also, soccer practice had started up for 2 of them so there was that to contend with too. I was super busy at work trying ot fit in as many clients as I could before I left too. Not too big of deal, these are all things I get to do in order to "get away".

Overall the trip was great. I loved spending the time with Gina and her family and also my dad and Linda. There were, however a few things that went wrong and at this point have become quite funny to us so I am writing them down so they are not forgotten. I am not trying to whine, I promise. I can whine a lot, so if this was whining...I would admit it! (prepare yourself, this is going to be long)

Day 1-Robert and I pick up dad and Linda where it is discovered that dads carryon handle won't pull up so he can pull the bag along behind him. Just a minor annoyance. Robert drives us to the airport where we go through security and Linda gets pulled aside and groped, quite thoroughly I might add. Then it was breakfast from McDonalds and wait to board the plane. First stop was Minneapolis where we had a little time to wait but decided not to eat any lunch yet. We did snack on some super-yum chocolate popcorn Linda brought. Next, board the plane for the trip to Detroit. This was an uneventful leg of the trip, we landed in Detroit and found our next concourse which was quite a ways away. The plan was to eat something before boarding again but when we got to the concourse there were no food places. We dug around for snacks and then dad decided to go on a hunt for food. He disappeared for quite a while and I decided he either found some or got lost. Soon the hero was desending the stairs with a bag from Wendy's. We hurridly ate our hamburgers and then boarded the plane and I was just about completely settled and most passengers on when they announced that we would have to de-plane. Apparently on arrival this plane had hit a bird and had a hole in the wing. I looked out my window (I was right in front of the wing) and sure enough, about 5 guys standing around the wing and one of them had his arm in the hole. Not sure how big the bird was and I'm not sure why it would take so long to discover that had happened but, whatever. We got off and waited for a new plane. Meanwhile I sent a text to Gina saying we may be late. Surprisingly enough, they got us a new plane pretty quickly and we loaded up again and got airborne. We landed on time in Scranton. I sent Gina a text that said we were there. Funny thing happened though, she got the first text I sent about 2 hours late so she thought that we were still in Detroit. When she got the 2nd text she had already turned around and headed back home! No big deal, we just had to wait for her for about 3o minutes. She arrived and we loaded the luggage and headed to her house. Side note; she had just moved into her house. Correction, she was just moving into her house. They had beds, kitchen table and chairs, and...well, thats about all. Remodeling took longer than expected so the moving didn't happen when it was supposed to. They ordered pizza for dinner and we visited with them and the kids. Jared and Amanda were there so we got to meet her, then Matt and Ashley(his fiance) showed up so we got to meet her too.

Day 2-Not too much happening. A run to Turkey Hill for a diet coke and then Linda brought some beads to make watch bands so we did that for a while. Later that night the men had to go and pick up their tuxes so Dad, Linda, Gina, Ashley, and I went to go for more beads. We went to dinner at the Texas Roadhouse (super yum!) then off to the craft store. About $100 and 1 heart attack for dad later, we stopped at Wal-Mart for dads Diet Pepsi and Popcorn-the super yummy chocolate popcorn that Linda has me addicted to. (This part will be important later.) Then it was back to the house to make our creations. (fun)

Most delicious popcorn EVER!

Day 3-Today we are going shopping! First stop, Turkey Hill for a diet coke:) Gina took us to The Christmas Tree Shop. It's a store with a little of everything and really nothing to do with Christmas. My favorite store we went to was Charming Charlies. Super cute jewelry there. Wish we had one in Idaho. We stopped at Wal-mart but they were out of our popcorn. Which was, by the way, being eaten by many people...not just us. Then it was home to get ready for the rehearsal and dinner. Bill was able to get the couch and TV from the other house while we were gone.

Day 4-Today we were going to go to the lake house after Bill got home from work. While waiting we (the 3 of us)commandeered Rachels car and went to Turkey Hill for a diet coke and then went for a little drive to see Carbondale. Conclusion: I don't ever want to live there. Bill never did make it back in time to go to the lake house. Instead we played some cards, created some more jewelry, and I cut some hair. That night we went to Pioneer Days celebration (or something like that, it was kind of a street fair) to watch the girls perform with their baton groups. That was fun for me to get to see. They have been in baton since they were 3 and are pretty darn good. They also twirl fire baton which was really cool. Rachel did catch one of her tosses too close to the end and burned her hand but they did awesome. It was her last performance since she is all grown up now and headed to college. After that we hung around and ate too much and then topped it off with a funnel cake. UUGGHH! Then it was back to the house for cards. Jared and Amanda came over and that was great to get to spend some time with them. Jared has a quick, quiet humor and Amanda is totally adorable.

Rachel is on the left, her friend on the right

Rebekah doing splits in front.

Day 5-THE BIG DAY! I got the privelege of doing the brides hair:) Of course I was super nervous about it too. We headed off to a salon in Clifford where all the bridesmaids were getting their hair and makeup done. I started with Amanda and then moved on to Rachel and Rebekah. It was fun to do some fancy up-dos and I'm pretty sure Amanda liked her hair. After a few hours there, we went to Amanda's moms house to get ready. (It was closer to the Inn where the wedding was taking place.) We had about an hour and a half to wait there after getting dressed. The photographer came and took some pictures while I sat around feeling out of place and weird but I survived. About 3:30 we headed to the Inn. Dad and Linda were there and I was back with my security blankets:) I really hate feeling out of place. The boys looked super handsome in their tuxes and the girls were beautiful. The wedding ceremony was nice, the setting amazing and the weather pretty great. Of course I wasn't standing out in the hot sun in a black tux. Amanda was beautiful!

My sister, the proud momma and her husband Bill the proud dad.

After the ceremony they did some pictures while the guests went in for

hors d' ourves. Eventually the wedding party was finished and they were announced and joined us. The reception included dinner and dancing (well, no dancing for me...my dance partner was in Idaho) and lots of people to watch. It was a fun night and by the time went home we were all exhausted. It was a long day. Well worth the whole trip though.

My sister and her family (love these guys!) Rebekah, Bill, Gina, Amanda, Jared, Rachel, Lehi, Matthew

Day 6-Dad, Linda, and I really wanted to go to NYC but that didn't work out for us so when we got up sunday we decided to head north to see Palmyra. Linda had never been there so we borrowed Gina's car, sent them off to church and we headed out. Stopping first at Turkey Hill for a Diet Coke, and then McDonalds for breakfast. It is a stinkin long drive to Palmyra, I think about 4 hours. It was beautiful though and we didn't mind. Linda kept trying to take pictures of the scenery as dad sped by. That is typical. She got light poles and guard rails and also managed to get a few pics of actual real scenery. When we got to Palmyra we stopped at the visitors center and then went to the Smith farm and walked through the Sacred Grove...in the POURING rain! By the time we got back to the car we were soaked. Me, not as much as them...I had an umbrella! I did offer to share but they wouldn't stay under it! Not to worry though, because as soon as we were back to the car the rain all but stopped. Go figure:) After that we stopped at the Temple to walk around it and take some pictures. The last time I was in Palmyra was 1994 and the temple wasn't there. It is a beautiful temple. One of our favorite features is the stained glass on the doors and windows that depicts the sacred grove which it overlooks. From there we went to the Cemetery and then the Grandin Publishing Co. That was an interesting tour but waaay too long. We ducked out early. We were starving at this point and still had a long ride home.

self portrait at the sacred grove



Palmyra Temple with my dad, we were soaked from the rain storm.

We stopped at a diner type of restaurant. The first thing I noticed were the flies. The next thing I noticed was that it was this restaurants last day of business. Scarry. Who knows what they were cleaning out of the refridgerator. A very NON -friendly waitress finally brought us some menus and water. She never came back. We finally left. Across the street to good old McDonalds we go for some drinks and french fries to tide us over. Back on the road to find a real place to eat. A few hours later we finally stopped at Appleby's in or near Binghamton. Got our order placed and of course they were out of the shrimp dad wanted. He settled for his second choice. Back on the road and only 1 turn-a-round and another hour or so later we were home. Plans were made for another road trip the next day.

Day 7- Road trip with Gina this time. WAHOO! We started out with a stop at...MCDONALDS! Breakfast of champions, (or fat people:) We headed to Harrisburg to go to Matt and Ashleys, Bass Pro Shop, and Hershey. Nevermind that she blew by a truckstop that I requested for a potty stop. How rude. She did stop at a rest area, finally. Whew.

Once in Harrisburg our first stop was Matts. He just bought a house so we got the tour and it is super awesome. Beautiful neighborhood and really cool old house. It was his first day of classes but he chose to skip it and be our tour guide. First we went to Bass Pro Shop. It was pretty cool I guess, but mostly just like any other outdoor store in my opinion. Next we were off to Hershey to visit the chocolate world. We did a tour there. It was pretty cool but Linda really wanted to see the really real factory. Oh well. The town was cute with its Hershey Kiss light poles. We stopped at Chilis for a late lunch and then from there we went back to Matts so we could see Ashley for a minute. She was just getting off work. She got home and we got to say our goodbyes and hit the long road to home. There was packing to be done for our flight out in the morning.

Matt and Ashleys house...scenery while speeding by...Bass Pro Shop

Somewhere along the way, (can't remember which town) we stopped at a Turkey Hill for drinks and dad filled up the car. We had also had the discussion about how we needed to find a Wal-Mart so I could get more of the chocolate popcorn for the trip home the next day, and Gina could get TP for the house. (a very important purchase I might add) She got off the freeway or highway or whatever it was at Wilkes-Barre so we could make our purchases. We were driving down the road and BAM! Literally! Some lady decided to turn right in front of us and we totally t-boned her. Scarry! Both airbags deployed and thankfully we were all wearing our seatbelts. As a matter of fact, we had just been talking about them and how they were bugging us. During those 2 days of driving Linda asked me about 3 or 4 times if I had my seatbelt on. She kept saying she had a feeling something was going to happen, like a tire was going to blow or something. WOW! Did something ever happen. We were worried about dad since he had had 2 different surgeries in the past couple months and was still sore from them. Gina hurt her hand pretty bad, probably from the airbag. Linda and I were shaken up but not seriously hurt. My diet coke was a casualty that I was wearing all over my backside.

the diet coke tragedy:(

It spilled all in my seat. Not too much of a tragedy except that when I finally got out of the car I looked like I had had an accident. There were quite a few people that stopped to help us, the police were called and were there pretty quickly. It is all kind of a blur, Gina called Bill and then one of the people talked to him for her, we eventually got out of the car after making sure we weren't hurt. We never did see the lady that caused the accident.

dumb ladies car... Gina... her car where it was towed

The police took all our statements, the tow trucks came and went, the ambulance left after Gina refused service, and then the police left. YEP, they just up and left us sitting on the street corner. He did make sure someone was coming for us but then he just drove away and left us in the dark. I felt like I needed a cardboard sign to hold. About 20 minutes later Bill showed up and we ended up going to the hospital in Scranton so Gina could get her hand x-rayed. We were there for a couple hours I think. It turned out not to be broken so that was good. After leaving the hospital we went back to her house and packed for the flight home in the morning. Poor Gina felt so bad and kept apologizing to us. I felt so bad for her that she was feeling bad. Its a vicious cycle of sadness;) By the time I got to bed it was about midnight-30 and I was soooo tired. So tired in fact that I hardly slept at all that night. DANG IT!

To top it all off we never did get our chocolate popcorn and we had to ration the TP!

The car ended up being totalled. Hey lady that caused the wreck~don't worry about the fact that they just got new tires, a new windshield, and my dad had put $50 in the gas tank! Not to mention my diet coke:)

After waiting that long our flight was delayed. About another 1-1 1/2 hours. Of course. All this time in the airports I had also been balancing dads carryon on top of mine. Remember his handle was broken. I was getting really good at it too. I finally figured out how to hook them together to make it easier. There were the cutest little boys there, I think they were Jewish Orthodox or something like that. They had the really short hair with the little curls by their ears and a yamika. (maybe not a yamika, and if so that may not be how you spell it. Is a yamika the hat thing?) I don't get out much and had never seen little guys with the hair like that. I've seen the grown up versions on TV but the little ones made me smile.

One of the little boys, but not the littlest one. Linda was trying be sneaky:)

We finally got to board and this was the first time I was seated by dad and Linda. It was also the longest leg of the whole trip so that was nice. We landed in Seattle (yep, had to go clear to Seattle first), I love Seattle, the same time we should have been taking off for Boise. On the last flight they ran out of overhead space so dad and Linda had to check their carry ons. Now I didn't have any extra to balance. The concourse we needed for our next flight was of course the farthest away from where we landed. We found it and got our flight re-booked since we missed our connection, and then went and found some dinner. There is a place in the SEA-TAC airport that has some super-yummy pizza. Its what I always eat when I'm there. I ate that. We had about an hour and a half to kill before our flight home. I called Robert and told him when we would be there. Of course I forgot about the time difference. Oops, sorry honey. When we landed I looked at my watch and realized my mistake. Oh well, he only had to wait an extra hour:) The good news was, all our luggage made it. We also got to fly in the BSU plane from Seattle to Boise.

Like I said, there were a few bumps (and crashes) along the way. So what would make a more perfect ending? Yep, we went out to the parking lot to...a flat tire:)

It really was a good trip. I really do love my sister and her family. I really did have fun with dad and Linda. I really am happy to be home.

P.S. I really don't normally eat this much junk! The diet coke can be another story though:)

Thats All

Desire and Perspective

These two words have been going around in my head for a few months now. I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of these words and also about the meaning they have in my life. I'm not really the deep thinker type so this is all new to me.

The dictionary says that desire is a verb meaning to wish or long for; crave, or want. Well, there a lot of things I crave or want. But do my momentary desires trump my ultimate desire? Sometimes they do. I want to be skinny but sometimes my momentary desire has me wanting to eat a cupcake. I'm trying to figure out how to get past the momentary want and keep my eye on the ultimate desire.

Last general conference there was a talk given on this subject by Dallin H. Oaks. http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/desire?lang=eng&query=desireI think this talk has stuck with me more than any of the others. He was talking on a spiritual level which I get, but I have thought about what he said in all aspects of life from spiritual, to motherhood, to dieting, and most other areas of everyday life. He said"Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."This quote really speaks to me lately. If I truly desire something then I have to make it a priority so I can make the choices to get me to my goal. I'm working on this in a few areas. I thought maybe if I wrote all this down it would help me sort it out in my mind. I don't think I'm there yet. I'll keep pondering it. Maybe someday it will all come together or maybe my thinking about it all the time will help me keep my priorities in order to make the right choices. hmmmm... It really is something to think about.

The other word is perspective. What a powerful word. There are a few definitions of this, a couple that I think apply to how I'm using it are; the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, or a mental view or prospect. It is amazing to me how a little change of perspective can make a huge difference. Whether you are too close to see the 'big picture' of something, or too far away to see the 'little details'. Sometimes a change of perspective is all you need to figure out the problems. I've been trying to remember to do that but sometimes I get stuck in rut and sometimes I choose to remain in my rut. If I try to look at situations from the perspective of my husband, or my kids, or whoever depending on the situation, I will usually change what I'm thinking, feeling, or saying. On a spiritual level I try to remind myself to look at things (this mostly applies to my self image) from an eternal perspective, and from my Heavenly Fathers perspective.

My daughter and I watched the movie Soul Surfer. It was a great movie with a great message and it talked a lot about our perspectives and how it will shape our actions and reactions. Maybe that is why I have been thinking about this so much.

A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough to your eye. ~Samuel Grafton Wow, that kind of sums it all up now doesn't it!

Again, I am writing all this to try to sort it out in my own mind. I still don't think it is working and I don't think anything I have written has made sense except maybe to me. Or maybe not even to me. I can't really tell yet. Probably I should stop now before I confuse anyone or myself any further.

That's All

One of my favorite things

For as long as I can remember I have LOVED to read. One of my favorite things when I was a kid in school was the book orders that came every month or so. I loved trying to find not only the right books, but the ones that were the least expensive so I could get more than one! I had a closet full of teen romance novels in Jr. High, but had to go more in the direction of using the library and borrowing in high school. Less opportunities for book orders and also more of a need to put gas in my car. That was ok, it made for easier storage. (I'll come back to that point later)

In school I always had a book with me to read if I finished my work, I have always read almost every night before I go to sleep. (even if just for 5 minutes) I take books to read in the car, and to work, and while waiting in doctors offices. You get the picture. I'm sad to say that I don't read much to try to learn things, I read for pure entertainment. I love church novels, mysteries and trashy romance novels. OK they aren't really trashy, they are usually the PG rated kind of trashy. Some might push the PG-13 range. I do venture in to other areas sometimes. I like happy endings. I have read a ton of things that my kids read because I want to know what they are reading. Everything from the Harry Potter series, the Twilight series, the Hatchet series, the Lost Children series, and back again to the teen novels that my daughter read when she was in high school. She is usually the one who points me in the direction of a good author or book these days. Since my kids reached the book order age we have shelves FULL of books. Especially Mackenzie.

All this rambling has a point, really it does and here it is:

Last Christmas my husband got me the BEST gift ever. I think it is the one I have gotten the most use of in all of our 23 Christmas's together. I didn't ask for, or hint that I wanted it. I don't even think that I knew I wanted it. He managed to think it up all on his own. Do you see where this is headed yet? My best gift ever was a KINDLE! Can I just say that I LOVE MY KINDLE! She has a cute pink cover, (imagine that) and her name is Agnes. My daughter, a fellow reading lover, gave me a huge big deal about it and how she doesn't like them and its not a real book and it doesn't have the feel or smell or whatever a real book has. I think she had kindle envy. (back to that point later too)

.;

I love my kindle for so many reasons, first of all, it is so easy to take everywhere. It fits in my purse and I can easily pull it out and get back to whatever my latest book is. I never have to find my place because it saves it for me:) I really love that. I can take numerous books with me too. Right now I have 33 books on it and have read 30 of them. It is so easy to get new books, last week before we left town I quickly got on Amazon and downloaded (or is it uploaded? Whatever.)a couple new ones just so I didn't run out of things to read. They are wirelessly delivered so in a matter of seconds I had new material. AWESOME! Amazon has tons of free books or really inexpensive ones. ($1-$3) Also since I am getting a little tiny bit older and because of the work I do I think I am getting arthritis in my hands. Holding books open actually bothers them. My Kindle doesn't have to be held open so TA-DAAA, no pain.


Now no more finding a place to keep all my books and no more piles of them stacked on my bedside table. Definately easier storage now.

When Mackenzie moved home from college for the summer I happened to have about 10 books from her favorite author (Marcia McClure, man can she write a kissing scene) that she hadn't read on my cute little kindle. She turned up her nose at it and then proceeded to take it over! I didn't see it again for almost 2 weeks. Why did I get it back? Well, my little Kindle hater bought her own! That's right, she was totally converted. I love it when the mother is right, and I have teenagers. They always think I'm wrong. Not only did she get a Kindle but she also copied my cute case. What can I say, she wants to be like me:) Maybe not, but at least I taught her right, pink is the best color!


So here's to Agnes, my cute little pink kindle, and my awesome hubby who got her for me. Happy reading.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go~Dr. Seuss

That's All.

Cupcake Obsession

I know the gourmet cupcake craze has been around for a while now, but I never really jumped on board until lately. The thought of paying 2 or 3 dollars for one little cupcake just never appealed to my tight budget. Well, when my sweet Mackenzie was at college she began telling me about these amazing cupcakes from The Cocoa Bean. In April when her dad and I went to pick up her "stuff" and move her back home for the summer we stopped by. And no, we didn't pay 3 dollars, we paid 9 dollars. We just couldn't decide (well I couldn't decide) so we got 3 cupcakes. Kenz was right, they were amazing. This was the beginning of a slippery downhill slope for me. I just have way to big of a sweet tooth. The worst part about that is I also have way to big of a body because of the sweet tooth. Oh well, that is another matter for another day.

Fast forward now a few weeks to my girls trip to Seattle with my 2 best friends. While we were out shopping we came across a cupcake shop. The first one was called Pinkabella Cupcakes. Hello, this is me...if it says pink in the name it has to be good. Only Nan and I are cupcake fans so being indecisive again we each chose 2, figuring we had 4 days to eat them. The most intriguing flavor was Peanut Butter and Jelly. The lady at the shop assured us that this was a very popular flavor, I think she even said it was their best seller. Of course they make them all so cute and you just can't help but want to buy them. The next day we came across another cupcake shop. Again, we were indecisive and so we each chose 2. Four more cupcakes now added to the 4 from the previous day. Good thing we had already eaten some of them;) The next day we had been walking around Pikes Place and had finally headed back to our hotel and in the spirit of adventure decided to walk there. If you know Seattle at all, our hotel was in the Queen Anne district a ways from the Seattle Center. This is a loooonnnggg way from Pikes Place. While we were walking we see another cupcake shop. Yep, we really did it. We went in and actually had a little restraint. We chose one to split. The intriguing flavor at this shop was called Pancakes and Bacon. What can I say, we had to try it. It was surprisingly good.! I would have chosen a different base for the frosting if it was me but since they didn't ask my opinion before baking them... Anyway it was a maple flavored cupcake with bacon in it and then a maple frosting sprinkled with bacon on top. All in all, in those 4 days Nan and I consumed 9 cupcakes and spent about 30 dollars doing so. What can I say, it was vacation. Luckily we walked and walked and walked to make up for the calories.

After all the kinds we tried we came to the unanimous decision that our favorite was the

peanut butter and jelly.

Now we fast forward some more. Mackenzie is pretty much obsessed too and she decided to make some gourmet cupcakes to celebrate Andrew's 5 month mission mark. I found a recipe on a blog I follow and she thought it sounded pretty good. It was raspberry lemon. They were delicious and super cute. I was still dreaming of the peanut butter and jelly though. I think because it was something you just don't hear of everyday. Well, an occasion finally arose, (Bridger's birthday) and I searched out a recipe and did it. I made my peanut butter and jelly cupcakes. Can I just say they turned out pretty darn good. And almost as importantly, they are pretty darn cute! No, Bridger didn't ask for them. And no, he didn't even appreciate the novelty and how cute they were. But I had fun anyway!

I would like to think now that I have made them that my obsession is over and I can get backt to that diet I have been putting off. Unfortunately when searching for a recipe I came across all kinds of delicious looking things to try. hmmmmm what to do, what to do. I think at the very least I better take up running again!

There is nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with cupcakes.~unknown

I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert~Jason Love

That's All

Just a Great Day

So today was one of the happiest shades of pink days I've had in a while. My best friend, who happens to live in Alaska of all places, flew into Boise on her way to visit her family. She had to drive from here to Rexburg so we got to see her before she headed there. Her name is Nan and I like to refer to her as "My Nan". She and her youngest son who was Colten's age and first friend came to our house then we took Fischer on a tour of his old houses and our little Middleton. After that we all loaded up and headed to Boise for lunch at 5Guys and then icecream at Sub Zero. We only had a few hours together but it was better than nothing.

After they left we had a few errands to do and so spent most of the day running around. Tonight after dinner Robert and I and all the boys went for a walk, well I actually rode my cute bike. We were just walking/riding, and talking and goofing off and I just couldn't help but be thankful for all that I have and for how happy my life was at that moment. I got to spend time with a friend and I had most of my family around me. Things could have turned out so much differently for us just 2 short weeks ago and I had this overwhelming feeling of happiness and the sweet blessings that have been given to me. Life is amazing and I know we have some struggles ahead with finances and what not but we will be fine and I know the Lord truely does bless my life and my family is everything. That's All

Lost-1 Husband

So today Robert was feeling way better. When I told him I had to go shopping for a few things he said "can I go?" I was quite surprised by this but happy. I thought he would just sit in the car while I was in the store but he didn't. We went to Costco first and then to Ridley's. He saw a few people we know and they were all shocked to see him out and about.

A few hours after we got home I had to leave again. Justin and Colten were home to "babysit". I came home a couple hours later to find Justin but no Robert. Justin said he thought maybe he was in the trailer with Colten. Apparently he had grabbed his jacket and told Justin to "stay here". He has been walking a little but always takes someone and a fold up chair with him. Well, the chair was out front still and he wasn't in the trailer. I waited for a while and then started to get a little worried. Justin went looking for him and went around the block (which is 1/2 mile). He came home with nothing. Now I'm really starting to get worried. About 5 minutes later he came strolling up. I guess he ran into a neighbor and went into their house to talk with them. He got properly scolded from me for taking off without permission. I don't think it will help, I'm sure he'll do it again but geesh, enough already. We joked about getting him a button that says if found return to: or maybe even a leash thing that they use for little kids. At the rate he is feeling better I don't think we'll be keeping him down much longer. I think I'm very grateful for that:) That's All

Life Changing Events

Monday May 23, 2011 was a date I won't likely soon forget. There are those dates in your life that stick forever. The date I was married, the dates my children were born, the date my mother died, and this last one, the date I could have lost my husband.

Robert came home around from his job at UPS around 8:30 in the morning and was telling me he had a killer headache he woke up with. He had taken some ibuprophen and then and got home and took some more. Mackenzie and I were headed off to the dentist and then shopping. Around 1:30 or so I got a call from Roberts friend Sean. He said he was taking Robert to the St. Lukes in Meridian because he had passed out. I told him I was going to take my groceries home and then would be there. I was just leaving Costco and had to take a check to the school for Colten. I did that and ran the refrigerated stuff to the house and then headed back to Meridian. He was in the ER and waiting. I figured it was just a severe migraine. They did a CT scan and came in and told us they found some bleeding in his brain and were suspecting an aneurysm. They told us they were going to trasport him to St. Lukes in Boise and there was a neurologist waiting for him. I left Mackenzie there for Justin to come and pick her up and followed the ambulance to Boise. I called his mom before we left Meridian, and my dad while on my way. In the ER in Boise they did another scan and we talked with Dr. Hajjar who told us they were admitting him to ICU and would be doing a cerebral angiogram in the morning to pinpoint where the bleeding was so we could decide the next step. I got home late monday night and headed back to Boise about 5 tues. morning. I wanted to be there when they did the angiogram. They took him for a test that morning but it ended up being the wrong one. They just redid the one from the night before. Later they took him for the 'real' one. Dr. Perl came in and told us that yes he did have and aneurysm and gave us the options. One of them was to do nothing which wasn't really an option. Doing nothing meant that at any time it could start to bleed again. The statistics they gave to us for aneurysms in general was that 25% of the people never make it to the hospital, 25% don't leave the hospital alive, 25% leave but are somehow severely impaired, (speech, use of limbs, vision, etc.) and then that leaves the other 25%. Robert looked good and had all his faculties about him. If he had another bleed then the statistics start all over again. I think we already beat the odds this time, why push it. The doctor gave us our treatment options and told us his recommendation was a procedure called coil embolization or coiling. This goes through the groin and up into the brain and fills the aneurysm with coils of a titanium wire so it clots off. Because of the type of aneurysm he had they had to actually clock off a section of his vein which in turn blocks the blood supply to the part of the brain the vein fed. This causes what they called a controlled stroke and it was possible to have adverse side effects. They told us it could affect his short term memory, use of his left side, his vision, etc. The procedure was supposed to take about 2 hours. My sweet friend Stacey stayed with me. At the point they took him to surgery everyone had left for a while except for his dad and Stacey. I couldn't make a decision to save my life at that point and I am so happy she stayed. About 2 hours later they came and told us that it was all going well. Another hour later the doc finally came back and said all was good. That it took longer because his aneurysm was disected and it took longer to feed the wire through both openings. By the time I finally got to see him that night I was a wreck. His whole family was there along with my dad and Linda, Stacey, Bishop Crossley and Dan Hauser. Robert was back in ICU with tubes and wires all over him. He was sick and throwing up. His mom came in for a minute. I went out long enough to say get a blessing from my dad. Robert had a blessing in the ER in Boise from Sean and Dan Hauser. I said good bye to everyone and went back to see Robert for a while longer. I got home around 10:30 exhausted and looking it.
Wednesday morning I was getting ready and the kids were getting ready for school when I got a call...It was Robert! He sounded awesome. I was shocked. He said he was fine and to tell the kids he could remember them, at least as well as he could before, and that that I should go to Bridger's program. I was so relieved. I went to the program and then headed to the hospital. When I got there his mom and sister were there and the Greens had just gotten there. He had a lot of visitors through there and was exhausted. I finally told the nurses no more and left for a few hours. I also told everyone to please back off and let him rest. The kids came that night but I wouldn't let them the next day. I think it was good, he really needed to sleep.
The doc had told us he would probably be in ICU another 3-5 days and be in the hospital for 1-2 weeks. Friday Dr. Hajjar came and said we aren't doing anything for you here so lets move you to a regular room. They got him moved to the 5th floor and then when I went in saturday morning the doc had just gotten there and said I hear you want to go home. He said lets get you out of here and we were out within the hour and on our way home! It was such a relief just being out of ICU friday night. And so strange to be heading out the door for home. I was happy and scared at the same time. Now he is home and I get to sleep by him and look at him and just know he is here. I am so thankful for him.

This whole experience has in a strange way been a good thing. It has been a reminder of what is important. I know from believing that way that I do whats important but it is still a good reminder. We have had so many great people in our lives this week to help us and be there for us. Our friends, and family, and ward family have been awesome. I have some clients that donated money for gas cards along with my co-workers. My kiddos are AWESOME. They have totally stepped up and taken care of the house, themselves, and even me. They were in their last week of school and finals and they managed to take care of it all. I have felt the blessing of my Heavenly Father in our lives this week and I know he is always there. He is wrapping His arms around us everytime someone else does. I have spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking and praying and worrying. I always had the feeling everything would be ok but that didn't stop the stress from taking its toll. I love my husband and family more that anything and I am so grateful that we are all home together. That's All

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a really long time. I enjoy the few that I follow and thought it would be fun to have my own. What else to I have to do with my time anyway. Ha
I want to do it for myself and actually hope no one reads it because I don't think I have anything to interesting to say. It is another great way to journal though and I need all the help I can get in that area. So about 5 or 6 weeks ago I created my blog and have been struggling with how to start it since then. A life changing event happened this week that made me say enough. Just start writing and who cares if it "good" or "entertaining" or even if it makes sense.

To start off I am a 42 year old mother of 5. I have a great husband and a pretty happy life. I love everything feminine and my favorite color is pink. Its happy and cheery and pretty. I was blessed with 4 wonderful...sons. I do have a daughter that loves being a girl so there is a little bit of girl in my life. I chose the title Shades of Pink because I decided to choose to see everything in those shades. Excited pink, sad pink, happy pink, mad pink, and yes-even boy pink. I don't know if that explains it right but in the words of my daughter "whatevs". I don't have time to go any further but maybe now that I have done the initial post it will be easier:) That's All